Guardian Of The Heart
by Paige Moonsword
Summary: Ashitka, the successful software comany's CEO's life changes dramatically when he meets his long lost companion San, after 12 years. San wants to just dissapear from this world and people who have abused her, but can her once best friend give her a reason


**A/N:** Hey, everyone! *bows*I am usually a writer of Escaflowne fanfics, but felt it a great need to write a Princess Mononoke one. I watched the movie finally and truthfully I can say that I lost sleep over Ashitaka the night I watched it. I have watched it like seven times since then. o_O So, to fullfill my urges, I have decided to write an Alternate Universe fic, because I feel that I won't do justice to a contiuation. ^_^  This is the perfect fic for fluff crazed people, who loved the cute moments in the movie. There will be lots of those here, but I don't write limey scenes. I will _imply_ things. Hehe. Gimme a break, I only just turned fourteen last month. 

**Summary:** AU. All changes for Ashitaka Emishi, a wealthy CEO of a successful software company, when he rescues a maiden in distress. She stood on the top of a high rise building…her hair flying about her as her skirt blew gently as well. 

San Moro, stood there on the high rise building of the software company and prepared herself to end her feeble existence. Not knowing that a handsome man would come and whisk her away and save her from her doom. Not knowing that her life was about to change drastically. And she must put her trust in the hands of creatures who have constantly abused and betrayed her---men.  

He was her protector, her confidant, her best friend for thirteen years. But twelve years later, can Ashitaka give San a reason to live once again? Can he be more than he was for thirteen years? Can he gain her trust and will their friendship bloom into something more even more precious? Some thing even more beautiful?   

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**Disclaimers:** I regret to say that I don't own Princess Mononoke/Mononoke Hime in any shape or form, so don't sue me! It belongs to its respective owners and this story is for purely enteratinment purposes. Not for profit! 

Here it goes…

Chapter One: In the Arms of an Angel 

            The dark sillhouette of a tall man with coffee brown hair and dark almost black eyes stood staring out the window from his office. He blinked, his eyes stinging with the lack of sleep, and looked at the quiet downtown, with the streetlights on. Only the dull shine of a lamp illuminated the otherwise dark office. He sighed tiredly, his hands raking his disheveled hair. He hadn't slept well for a week and his head ached. Magazines lay on his desk with its bold headlines. The magazines his mother had proudly left for him. 

            _"THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR: ASHITAKA EMISHI!"_

_"A MAN EVERY WOMAN WANTS: ASHITAKA EMISHI"_

_                        "ASHITAKA, THE LATEST, YOUNGEST, HOTTEST HUSBANDWARE!"_

He was tired of his mother always trying to persuade him to marry. Couldn't the woman give it a rest? He was only twenty-five. But then again, he was very mature for his age and plus the CEO of a very successful software company. He had graduated from high school at fifteen and had already started his budding company. By the time he was out of college, it was full-fledged successful business. 

 His mother would always try to introduce availible young ladies to him, especially on his birthdays. She took the opportunity to invite _all_ young ladies she and her friends knew. It was pure torture to him as he had one woman after another batting long mascaraed eyelashes at him and revealing their ample cleavages as they purposely bent down. He smiled affectionately thinking of his mother's attempts. Though it annoyed him greatly, he found it amusing at the same time.

 She was a woman like no other; never giving up no matter how many times he had told her to stop her schemes. There were times when he thought that she took enjoyment and made it her hobby to search for his wife-to-be. She had married late and proclaimed that she would see her grandchildren before she died. Marriage now, seemed so far off for the brown-haired man. He hadn't even given it a thought. Yes, he had dated many women but had politely broken off after a week or at the most two. None seemed to suit him. All saw the money that they would get and the priveleges that came with the millions. Nobody saw him, the fiercely passionate man with the quiet charm and gentleness fit for a lamb.   

His palms touched the clear glass of the huge windows and he jerked his head towards the window from his thoughts. He squinted and rubbed his eyes. Could he be imagining it? Was it the trick of the light?

 There was a shadowy figure standing on the very top level of the building across, which was a part of his company. His eyes widened and he gasped. It was definitely a female, her skirt and hair being carried away by the gentle wind. No one in their right mind would be standing on top of such a high rise building. It could only mean one thing. One thing that many thought was sinful. Suicide.

            Not thinking twice, he grabbed his long dark coat, and ran across the hallway to the elevators. His brain was suddenly active and buzzed with thoughts and feelings of dread. He pushed the button repeatedly in frustration. The elevator arrived, and he rushed in pressing for the first level. He ran out of the elevator while frantically putting on his coat. The doors opened and he rushed off. Only one person could enter the office building now. The CEO/president of the company. And that was he, Ashitaka Emishi.

            He jammed the card in the little machine and the door automatically opened. After taking the elevators again he rushed up, and opened the door of the roof. He slowed down, and walked softly towards the standing figure. She wore a calf length black skirt and a white, loose linen blouse. She didn't move, and stood solidly. Her long hair, almost the color of dark sand blew gently in the wind and caressed her face. The thin material of the skirt swished as her hands stood straight beside her. 

            "Don't do it!" He whispered fiercely. He was two paces away from her.  

            She turned around slowly, while spreading her hands. She met his eyes and pushed herself down. Ashitaka's eyes widened and his reflexes took over. "Noo!"  His strong hand gripped her arm and she was now hanging from his arm. Lavendar-blue eyes met his and their gazes locked.

The strangest sense of déjà vu took over him. He knew those eyes._ Could it be her?_ She spoke, her voice soft as a child's with helplessness. "Let me go. Let me end my misery!"

            "Never! It's a cowardly thing to do." He was now pulling her upwards. Her face caught the light, and the sight that beheld him almost made him lose his grip. A delicate pale face, with thin cheeks and an inviting full mouth stared back at him. Her eyes glittered with unshed tears and her dark sand colored hair reached till her elbows. With a final pull, she bumped into his chest. She was now fully on the roof. He didn't realize she was still enveloped in her in his arms. He was just staring at her face, trying at the back of his mind to place a name. He definitely knew her.

            She fought his arms. "Let me go! Leave me! Just go away. Damn all men!"

            "I am not going to leave you. Not now." His voice was determined but soft as a caress and he tightened his grip on her drawing her even closer. They stood in that position for a few moments as the strange, beautiful girl stopped her thrashing. She shivered involunatirly. He let go of her rather hesitantly, and swiftly shed his thick jacket. "Here. Wear this. You'll catch cold." He gently draped it over her narrow shoulders.

            "Thank you," she murmured, tears finally springing from her cheeks. He tenderly cupped her cheeks and wiped away the tears with a thumb. She backed away refelxively and looked at him with anguished eyes. Ashitaka's parents always said they were his weakness. Females. He couldn't help being kind to them and treated them as knights had treated ladies. His mother had always jokingly said that he would've made a fine knight or wanderer rescuing damsels in distress (but of-course never marrying them). Here he was, ironically, doing exactly that, saving a damsel who was obviously very distressed enough to take her own life away.

            "Let's go inside. We can talk there. It's too cold here." She nodded.  He guided her inside. She flinched from his touch, and he left her alone.  

            He switched on the soft light of the lamps in his personal lounge. The fire crackled merrily and the woman before him sat on the sofa looked even smaller in the huge room. Expensive, but comfortable furniture was scattered through out the room, and huge shelves of books adorned the room giving it almost a scholarly feel. 

            "What's your name?" He asked, his voice still carrying its gentle tone.

            She met his eyes and a peculiar expression took over her face. "San. San Moro." Her eyes met his questioningly when his eyes widened in surprise and his heart thundered at the name.

            "You-you can't be." He raked his hands through his hair, and his face looked ghostly pale. He met her eyes as his hands trembled. "San? My San?" His breath came in shallow gasps. Just as he proclaimed her name, she knew. It was _him_. How could she ever forget the other part of her soul? They were best friends since babyhood, but San's family had moved when she was thirteen. Her heart pined for her companion, but soon all were left were painful memories of emptiness. They had lost total contact. And now, it was twelve years later they met again. 

            "Ashitaka?" She shut her eyes tightly, tears once again leaking as she hugged herself. His hands moved to wipe them away. "Don't touch me!" Her eyes were still sealed but she could sense his movements. He drew back, and looked hurt. Her sensitive brows joined together. "Don't ever come close to me! Just-just let me go!" She opened her eyes and stood up, taking off the bulky coat, and made a run towards the door.

            His hand caught hers and he pulled her towards him. "Just where do you think you are going, idiot? To kill yourself?"  

            "You don't understand. They'll be after me! I must leave!" She said between sobs. She beat the free hand on his chest, but he pulled her into a tight embrace. His embraces seemed to have a calming affect on her.

            "San. San.San." He crooned. His body was crushed against hers and he made up for all the years that he had longed to see her, to hold her hands, to embrace her. "I am sorry. I didn't understand. But I want to understand. I want to be your Ashi again." He rubbed a part of his cheek on her hair and breathed in the smell of lavendar. He could feel the cold tears hitting the crook of his neck. She relaxed slightly and her hands circled his waist slowly.

            "Oh Ashi," she used the old nickname. She spoke slowly as if weary. "Things just have gotten so out of hand. It seems that death is the only escape. I just can't live. Can't live like this." Her warm breath tickled him and was discomforting. He pulled back slowly and surprised San by lifting her up in his arms.

            "Wha-what are you doing? L-let me go!"

            "Shhh, San. Don't ever fear me! I would never hurt you." He sat down on the sofa, with her in his arms. He knew one thing. She had been hurt. Terribly hurt. "Go on." He brushed away a lock of sandy hair from her face.

            She sighed inwardly, a sigh of releif. For a second back there, panic had overtaken her and she had almost forgoten that it was Ashitaka and not the other hateful men in her life.

She felt safe in his arms; it was like returning home. From the moment he had held her, something had kept tugging at her mind like this was familiar. Hadn't he been the one to comfort her as she poured out her worries about home and school as a young child? Wasn't he the one who made her laugh and the one she knew she could trust to go to for anything? But yet, this painful side of her she didn't want to reveal to Ashitaka. Would his opinion of her change? Would he be disgusted by her? 

            "San," he encouraged her. "You know you can tell me anything. I'll listen." His gaze was almost dizzying, so intense it was_._

            She gulped, and looked into his warm, dark eyes. Honesty and trust shone in them as they had always done in the past. He had not changed. Time has not touched his pure soul, while hers were adorned with scars of a lifetime. She breathed deeply.

"Mother and Father passed away when I was fourteen. It was a car accident. Both had head injuries and died shortly after the accident." His hands tensed around her. He was going to speak but she covered his mouth with her hand. "Don't say a word. I won't be able to finish then." He nodded and she moved her hand away. "I was then taken into a foster home, but-but their sixteen year old son en-enjoyed chasing me." Her voice was a broken whisper now. 

_That bastard! I'll kill him with my own hands. How dare he!  _Fury coursed through his veins. San looked at his changing face. His eyes hardened. Was he mad? He certainly looked enraged. But, she started again bravely. It was too late. Now she had to finish. "He would set his dog on me, or his friends would grab me. He didn't get a chance to hurt me, though. His parents soon realized what was happening." She turned away, not being able to withstand his gaze and looked at her fingers.

"I moved several houses then. Some couldn't afford to take me in, and some thought of me as-as a bother." She sniffed, her face now ashen pale and serious. His hands massaged her back soothingly. Ashitaka found himself cursing more people than he had ever in his life done. "I had always wanted to attend college, so, when a rich distant uncle decided to adopt me, the social services thought it was best I go to him. Uncle Jiko was a man in his early forties and he seemed kind enough. I even believed that he spoiled me. Made me attend the best private schools, and finally college. When I came out of college, however, he-he told me that he had be-bethrothed me to a very rich man during a party. Yuuhi." _Noo! Was she married now? _"Yuuhi was ten years older than me, and he had been a frequent visitor as I was in high school. At first I thought he just took interest in me, well, because he saw me as a little sister or a sibling. His sister was a still born and had died when he was eleven.

"I-I didn't kn-know what he saw in me. He had told my uncle before the adoption that he wanted to marry me. My uncle agreed but he said that he could m-marry me after I graduated from college. The day I graduated, he held a huge party at his house. Towards the end of the party, he-he announced aloud to all his friends and business associates that we-we were engaged." She buried her face in his chest and her arms went around his neck. 

"I was stunned so I ran to my room. He came upstairs and tried to reason with me, but I wouldn't listen. He locked my room from outside. Meals were brought to me for a whole week but I refused to eat. Only water. Uncle told me at the end of the week that I was being stubborn. He s-said that I owed it to him. After all his years of care. He..he had trained me, almost like a dog, to be the perfect wife for Yuuhi. You see, because I looked like Yuuhi's past love. He showed me a picture of her, but I never thought that he wanted me as a replacement for her. She died with cancer a few years before I came to Uncle Jigo. Her facial features and eyes were like mine, but her hair was black. I-I kept on thinking he was being kind to me. 

"He confessed that he had adopted me for Yuuhi one day. When Yuuhi saw a picture of me, he was trembling. I was only sixteen at the time, and looked like a younger verion of Hana, Yuuhi's love. I told Uncle I was of a legal age, an-and that he wasn't my guardian anymore. He kept repeating, kept reminding me of all the he had done for me. Yuuhi had come to visit me after two weeks. I was still admant; I didn't want to marry him. I told him that he was being selfish for doing such a thing, that I didn't love him. I never loved him. He was a friend, a brother. That made him angry, angry enough to-to pin me to the wall." She closed her eyes and now tears were leaking as she clearly relived that memory. Ashitaka looked beyone hurt. His eyes were blazing with fury, while his arms tightened even more protectively. Like a bear protecting his cub.

"He sstarted kissing me. He told me he had wanted me e-ever since I was sixteen. Ever since I had come to my Uncle's place. He confessed that he was the one to chase away the boys from me in highschool and college. He had bribed them to keep away from me. He-he said that he had wanted all of me for himself alone. My lips were bruised and bleeding, and there were marks all over my n-neck. Uncle for once told him that was enough. Yuuhi had gone crazy. He said that he would make me want him the way he wanted me." She breathed deeply and rubbed her head against his chest. 

"Yuuhi made frequent visits, always kissing me, but it frustrated him that he received no reaction from me. Finally I turned twenty two, when he threatened me. He would force me to walk through that isle or he would kill me. He said that then no one would be able to have me. I don't know. He seemed convinced that I would love him, or grow to love him.

"I said that I would rather die. Uncle wasn't home that evening." Ashitaka felt that he knew where this was going now. His throat thickened with the raging emotions within him. But he couldn't, just couldn't bear to see this wild, untameable spirit of hers break. "He pushed me on the bed." A sob escaped from her throat. "He started to undress me while he touched me in-in unspeakable places." Tears were escaping from Ashitaka's eyes now as he held her. He was surprised she even trusted him. After all the men had betrayed and abused her.

  "I was frantic. I grabbed the closest thing nearest me. A lamp. I hit him on the head with that and he was knocked out. I dressed quickly, took my purse and left hurriedly. The door was open and I was free." She was crouching so close to him, as if he was a boat in a raging storm. "I ran away, but it didn't last long. Uncle and Yuuhi tracked me down. I saw their car, after I was coming from work. I left. I ran away again, but they were always able to track me down. I kept moving from one place to another. Didn't stop anywhere for long. Always afraid that they would get me. Life's been like this and now..I am just tired of it all. Tired from running away. From fearing that a tall, coal color haired man would be lurking behind me. You see, Yuuhi never gives up; he will hunt me till the last of my days." She sighed deeply.

San felt something cool on her hands and found his eyes liquidy with silent tears. "San, oh San, I am sorry. I-I wasn't there for you. Those bastards deserve to die for what they did to you! I am just so sorry. So sorry…" 

Ironically, it was she who found herself wiping his tears away gently and her palm rested on part of his cheek. "Ashitaka, I am just glad you are here now. Seeing you has made me happy. It almost makes me wish to live. But-but I can't. I can't live in this world." His hand lay atop of hers on the cheek. 

"Why?" His voice was a cracked whisper. "Can't you get the authorities and report them?"

She smiled sadly. Her smile melted his heart, so beautiful it was yet it was filled with deep sorrow. "Uncle and Yuuhi have connections. They'll probably claim I have mental problems or something and even get a case history from somewhere. They'll say that my parents' death has driven me mad."

"Live with me. Stay." He didn't know why he said that. It had just sprung on his lips. But he realized later that he had meant it. Meant every word of it. He wanted her to stay with him forever. Oh Gods, he had always loved her. Loved her as her childish figure soared on the swings in the park, as she spoke animatedly to him always prodding him lively to lighten his serious exterior, as she had despaired over her math homework, and budding crushes. Loved her with his very own being. As she sat on his lap now and cuddled close to him, he had a sense of wholeness. Completeness that he had found in no other woman.

She drew back rapidly, her eyes widening and her hands on her lap. "Ashitaka… Your life would be in danger. I-I can't let that happen. You mean too much to me. You'll die and I will be taken to a life worse than hell." Her eyes searched his frantically. "I can't let you die! Why don't you understand?" He realized something at that point. She didn't understand what he was offering to her. He was offering his body and soul. He was offering to be her soulmate, protector, lover, friend; whatever she desired. 

He frowned, his thick, dark eyebrows closing in, and spoke. "I can't let you die. Do _you_ understand?"

She sighed in frustration and her head once again rested on the broad expanse of his chest. "Oh Ashitaka…"

They were silent for a while, each cherishing the warmth of one another. San lay still in his arms when Ashitaka spoke softly. "San? San, marry me. Live with me. I want to be there for you from now on." He adjusted his head so that he could look into her eyes. Her eyes were sealed, long eyelashes fanning her cheeks, and he could see the rythmytic rise and fall of her chest. She was asleep. 

Then it struck him! He was turning into Yuuhi without realizing it. Hadn't Yuuhi forced marriage upon her? But his mind fought, he was not forcing it on her. He was offering. _Idiot! Like she'll trust you now, after all she's been through. She needs time! Anyway, she probably feels sisterly towards you._ It was true in some ways, the odd friendship they had struck back then. There wasn't a time when Ashitaka remembered that San had not been his friend and beside him. She was like the other part of his soul and body. 

He was broody and a serious child and she was like sunshine; always smiling even as she spoke, touching each person deeply. He had felt aweful after she had left. For years, he still expected to see the laughing eyes and shining hair of a young girl grab his arm and pull him somewhere excitedly. But, it was more than a brother-and-sister relationship. His little sister though he loved her very much, he never felt at ease towards her as he had towards San. Most siblings fought now and then, but Kaya, his sister, and he never fought. He was a perfect brother, sometimes too perfect.

 San was a different matter. He had pushed her, tickled her senseless, swung on the swings like a five year old when they were twelve, had snow fights, played tag in the rain; displayed a whole new side that his family would've been surprised in seeing. He wasn't shy and reticent, but more free than he had ever been. He remembered a particular afternoon, the last afternoon they had spent together…

San and Ashitaka sat on a bench in the park with cold orange juices in their hands. Their legs were spread straight, and both relaxed as they gazed at the trees and the drifting clouds of summer. For the past few minutes San had been prodding the comfortable, lax looking Ashitaka.

"Come on, Ashi! You like someone. I know you do!" She smiled impishly, as she pushed back her hair and took a sip of her juice.

He grinned. "For the last time, I am not telling you."

"Aw, come on. Do I know her?"

"Hmm…well you may or may not. It's different with every person."

"What? Don't start babbling philosophy!" She whacked his arm lightly.

He laughed a joyous, carefree laugh that echoed cheerfully. He loved teasing her. 

"Okay, okay. I know you're not going to answer me now. So, how about telling me what she looks like?" She excitedly spoke; her chin propped up on her elbow. "Is she pretty?"

"Mmm-hmm. Very." His eyes danced with amusement. Then he added deliberately. "And very silly as well." He knew that would cause a multitude of questions.

"Very silly? You like a silly girl? No way!" She smirked. "The same Ashitaka Emishi, who is the most down-to-earth young man, whose brain is made up of mathematical equations and formulas and who loves to bury his head in a biology text book?He likes a silly girl with a brain the size of a pea, whose brain is filled with dung and looks through fashion magazines? HA! Like I'll believe that!"

He smiled calmly at her. "She is quite smart, you know. And she doesn't leaf through fashion magazines. Her brain is not the size of a pea. She just forgets to use it sometimes."

"Ha! Another characteristic, sweet boyfriend getting defensive over his girlfriend." She snapped her fingers. Her eyes sparkled and matched the color of the sky.

"Whatever you say. She's not my girlfriend, by the way. She already has a crush on someone."

"She has a crush? Why no girl can turn you down, unless she's an idiot." She grinned. "Soo..you didn't tell me what she looked like." She raised her eyebrow as a challenge.

Ashitaka placed the bottle of orange juice beside him and propped his chin on his elbows. He spoke in a mock serious voice and his eyes shone with mirth. "I suppose her hair is like yours." He ground a strand of her hair in his fingers and then let it go. "It's the color of a tree's bark, her eyes the color of a robin's egg," his finger drifted towards her eyebrows and brushed them lightly, "and her skin like milk." 

She snorted with laughter. "Ohh God, I feel sorry for that girl!" She giggled again. "I don't think a girl likes to be compared to milk, eggs, and…and the bark of a tree!"

He smiled and spoke goofily. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. The girl won't know I compared her to---milk, eggs and trees!" Laughter bubbled and erupted from his throat.

She surprised him by speaking determinedly. "I'll tell her."

"Oh no!" He spoke dramatically. "Don't! Then she'll never like me!"

She ignored him. "Hmm…who has brown hair, blue eyes, and pale skin? And she doesn't like fashion magazines, and is beautiful and smart?"

He became hysterical and shook her shoulders. If San were determined she would probably go tell some innocent girl that her best friend pined over her. Before his goofiness got out of hand he would put an end to it. "San! I like nobody! I was kidding!  I-I was just describing you! I was poking fun!"

"What?!" His hands still rested on her shoulders, but the shoulders, however, started shaking with obvious laughter. Her head rested on his chest as she struggled to control herself. "You'll never change, Ashitaka." He grinned helplessly. She stood back up, with luminescent eyes. "But! I am glad that girl was me! I was planning hunt down and murder that other girl! That girl would hear a piece of my mind. I would beat her up and make you date her."

"HA! San finally reveals her violent nature."

"But," she tried to maintain a serious facade at him, " don't worry, I would always like you—even if you compared me to those things." She laughed and he joined in. "I could never imagine any girl wanting to marry you and lasting!"

"Who said anything about marriages?"

"Exactly! What was I thinking? It would take an eternity for you to even ask her out to a first date." She covered her mouth. "You'd probably shove her in the lake or something, like you did to me!"

"Well, you are always a special case." He pointed out.

"Mm..I feel so special." She spoke dryly.

He gave her one of his irrisistible smiles. "And what about you, missy? Would you jab and poke your husband constantly and pull him the lake after you if he jokingly pushed you in?"

"No, of-course not." She spoke airily. "My husband wouldn't be pushing me in lakes in the first place!"

"What would he do?" He asked pointedly, enjoying their light banter.

"Well," a small blush crept on her face as her eyes had a faraway look in them, "he would do the things..well..normal couples do. Hold hands, hug, and maybe  kiss…"

He grinned. "What thoughts are you cooking up in that brain of yours?"

She whacked him on the arm lightly and sniffed. "Stop teasing me!"

"I'll be sure to warn your husband what kind of--creature he's marrying."

"Why you!" She raised her fist.

"Okay okay! Point taken. Will inform husband never to anger San enough so that she raises her fist, and to make sure to that you two 'hold hands, hug, and maybe kiss.'"

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "I never knew orange juice could make someone hyper… I wonder how much sugar this thing has."

"Ah, well," he began in his lecture-type voice, "technically sugar makes no one hyper. I read in a science journal that it is merely a myth that sug—" Her hand closed over his mouth.

            "Goodness, that is not going to land you with a date! Store some other useful information from those science magazines, like how to attract females!" She joked and removed her hand. In fact, she rather enjoyed those talks they had. It was surprising, they shared the same interests but San was more open, while Ashitaka broody but sometimes as loud as she.  "I am tired of being called your girl-friend. Find someone soon, I don't want to leave you alone."

            It was partially true. Most females were very attracted to the dark looks of Ashitaka, and his brilliant mind, but were afraid to make a move. Though, he was kind and extremely chilvalrous to the girls (except perhaps San), unlike boys his age, they had dared not to go near him mainly of San. They didn't understand the bond between the two and both got teased many times and were called couples.    

_"Hmm..I don't want to leave you alone. What will you do all alone? Torture some other poor innocent individual to madness with your chatter?" She made a face at his last comment._

_"Ha! Atleast I could land with a kiss from a boy! It's sad. I haven't been kissed and __Kano__ has been kissed like four times already!" She sighed, as her shoulders sunk in._

_"He would be forced to kiss you, so that you would shut up!" He grinned, but coughed and spoke seriously looking at her rather hurt face. "Well, that makes you rare doensn't it? Never being kissed. Won't your first kiss be sweeter and you will be valued more than __Kano__?" He had a way of turning the arguments around and making her feel better. "Now, if you want a boy to kiss you, I wouldn't mind doing the honors and kissing—" He joked._

_She shoved him away with a face. "Ewww!  Get away! The reason I couldn't get a decent boy to come close to me is you!"_

_He cocked his head innocently. "Me?! What did I do?" _

_"The boys are all terrified of you ever since you beat up that boy, __Devon__. Now, they think I am your property or something. "_

_He spoke cooly. "__Devon__ deserved it! He made you cry."_

_"Well, it was actually my fault. I was just having bad day and got mad at him…" A little blush found her way on her cheek._

_"Don't you dare make excuses! Slander like that, that would make our friendship break apart is not a little thing." _

_He remembered the incident when that snotty, boy had told him that San had disliked him and had made fun of his family and his fears aloud to the class. She had supposedly called him a "pathetic geek." That had hurt him. He had an ache in his chest that whole day and his mind had not functioned until he had confronted her and met a teary eyed San as she had confessed that she had said no such thing. He trusted his senses. He had known her for thirteen years and knew that San was a horrible liar. Her eyes always betrayed her. They would carry that guilty look if she lied, but at that time all she had done was looked remorseful and angry. Angry that he would not trust her. Angry that he would think she would ever betray him in such a manner. But remorseful, for all the hurtful things __Devon__ had said to him. Remorseful enough to throw her arms around him and cry in front of all the students.   _

_"Yes, but violence is not the key!"_

_He shrugged. "Silly people. I would only kill them if they hurt you. __Devon__ deserved that beating. He doesn't mess with us now." He said in an offhanded fashion, but both knew he was serious. He truly cared. Though Ashitaka was generally a peaceful person, only deep emotions could move him and make him react or even speak in such an angry way._

_Her eyes softened as her hand found its way and slung over his shoulder and her head also rested sideways on his shoulder. "Thanks."_

_"Hmm.." He sighed comfortably, as he gazed at the fluffy, pure white clouds that skimmed the skies…_

He blinked rapidly. He was totally taken to living that memory. He straigtened his thoughts. That conversation was shortly before she had dissapeared from his life.

 Though Yuuhi and Ashitaka shared the same opinion of San being touched by another man, Ashitaka would've stepped down if someone made San happy. He would do anything for her happiness. _Anything_. 

He sighed. Good, tommorow was Sunday. For once in Ashitaka's life, he dreaded going back to his office. Work was a release for him. All that had mattered was work and it had slowly consumed his life. He had even at times slept in his lounge, and had furnished it well with all the accessories. But now, the sleeping child-like woman took hold of his thoughts. 

He thanked himself for bringing thick blankets. Slowly getting up as to not wake up San, he took her in his arms once again and laid her on the chaise. She clung to him, but he gently pried her hands off. After unfolding the sofa bed and placing a fluffly pillow and blankets on them, he turned once again to San. It was more difficult this time since he didn't want her to wake up. He cradled her, and gently placed her on the bed. Her eyebrows were joined together in a frown as he pulled the covers on her small form. He stood back up straight and watched her sleep for a few moments before softly padding on the carpet and getting his own blankets and pillows together. He longed to cradle her in his arms all night, but he didn't want to lose the trust she had in him. He didn't want her to think he was taking advantage of her. How could she even find the heart to trust him? He wondered as he switched off the lights. The fire still crackled.

He lay at the foot of her bed on the carpet as he wrapped himself in a cocoon of blankets. Sleep refused to overtake him, as he thought of what San had told him. How could she have gone through all that alone? To find out that the life you led was a lie? That each move had been directed for someone's personal desires and wants? He lay there thinking. The clock ticked as he stared on at the celing as one hour after another passed.

He herad a groan and frantic whispers. "Noo. Leave me, Yuuhi. Don't—please Yuuhi! Stop!" Ashitaka scrambled out his blankets and turned towards her. Beads of sweat glistened on her forehead as she fought the demons in her mind. He hesitantly half sat and half lay on her bed. 

Gently wiping away her forehead he whispered all the comfort he could. "Shh.San. Yuuhi isn't here. He's not going to hurt you. I won't let him. Sleep. You're safe now. Nobody is going to harm you." 

She shivered violently as if she had a seizure and her breaths were shallow. He found himself pulling her into his arms. Her shivers gradually subsided as he pressed her even closer and her fingers grasped hold of his shirt. "Make him go away!"

"He won't dare harm you, San. I am here. I won't let him touch a hair of you." He vowed fiercely.

 He moved a loose strand of hair from her face as she opened her eyes for a moment. "Ashitaka… You haven't changed…always there to protect me." She smiled and spoke from her druggish sleep.

_If only that were true, San. If only I could have been there when you truly needed me most. _He lay there, his arm around her waist as she faced him. Her arm had gotten around his waist as well, and she had snuggled close to him sleeping soundly. Regrettingly, he moved and tried to part his close body from hers. He pulled away slightly but she pulled him even closer. Her arms were like steel, and wouldn't let go of him. He hated what he was about to do, but he had to. What if she woke up and saw him lying with her? Would she ever trust him again? He didn't want her to feel that he was taking advantage of her. And he especially didn't want to lose the precious trust he had.

"San. San." He spoke softly in her ear. "Let go of me."

"Mmm…" she moaned and opened an eye. "Ashitaka?" Her eyes widened into saucers. "What-what am I doing here?"

"Hush. You fell asleep. You're still in my personal lounge." And then he added as he looked at her panicked expression.  "It's okay. I am not going to hurt you. Now, just let go of me." He whispered, his resolve weakening by the second. He was feeling so comfortable and pleasantly sleepy. He hated to admit it, but his heart ached when she didn't trust him.

What she said next warmed him and surprised him as well. Her eyes pleaded. "Stay. Don't—unless if you want to leave." She kicked herself metally on the head. She sounded so pathetic. Her eyes seemed extra bright now and she added hastily regretting her earlier words deeply. "I-I understand. I am in no way forcing you—"

His hand closed over her mouth. "Shh…Sleep, I won't leave. If you don't mind." He smiled slowly, a shy grin of a boy's. 

An infectious smile lit her face and Ashitaka found himself smiling widely back.

"Hmm. I don't feel sleepy now." They lay together quietly as they stared at the dancing shadows on the ceiling.

"Really? You were snoring away a few minutes ago." He joked as he yawned.

"What?! I was?!" She blushed.

"Hey! I was just kidding." He grinned.

She closed her eyes for a moment and spoke softly, her delicate face suddenly serious. "Ashitaka?"

"Hmm?" He murmured.

"Will you sing for me?"

"Sing?" Ashitka asked with a raised eyebrow, thoroughly surprised.

She turned over, faced him and asked solemnly. "Please?"

"Allright, all right. Fine." He sighed and said in a mock desolate voice. "Looks like you like torturing me, just like the old days." She smiled, her eyes crinkling as she slapped his arm. 

He waited for a moment and thought of an appropriate song. Lullabys? Nah, he didn't know many, but he knew just the song to lift San's spirits. When was the last time someone had sung to her before bedtime? 

Slowly and ever so softly, softly like a feathery voice he started to sing, his voice rising and falling to the tune of the song.

When you feel all alone 

_And the world has turned its back on you_

_Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart_

_I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you_

_It's hard to find releif and people can be so cold_

_When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take it anymore_

_Let me be the one you call_

_If you jump I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away into the night_

_If you need to fall apart _

_I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash then crash and burn_

_You're not alone_

She closed her eyes, drowning in his husky voice. He continued.

When you feel alone 

_And a loyal friend is hard to find_

_You're caught in a one way street_

_With the monsters in your head_

_When hopes n dreams are far away and_

_You feel like you can't face the day_

_Let me the one you call_

_If you jump I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away into the night_

_If you need to fall apart _

_I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash then crash and burn_

_You're not alone_

How did he know her so well? She wondered. His voice was soulful, and it made her believe…believe that she could still live. Still have hope. Still dream and feel that she was not the only one. She shuddered. The riot of emotions made her almost dizzy. And especially his voice made her heart do flip-flops. How would she ever be able to leave him? She wondered as she carelessly clutched his shirt. 

Because there has always been heartache and pain 

_And when it's over you'll breathe again_

_You'll breathe again_

_When you feel all alone_

_And the world has turned it's back on you_

_Give me a moment pelease_

_To tame your wild wild heart_

He could see her relaxing and her eyes were half closed. He carelessly stroked her hair. 

_Let me be the one you call_

_If you jump I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

_If you need to fall apart_

_I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash then crash and burn_

_You're not alone_

Her breaths deepened and she said faintly, almost a whisper, her eyes sealed shut. "Did you know that you're my angel, Ashi…"

His eyes softened. "San, I-" He stopped. No, this wasn't the time. She probably didn't want to feel pressured or even want to do anything with him. He was a temporary reliever. She would lead her life, and he would live his. But, before he let go of her, he would make sure that the bastard would be taken care of. She only clung to him out of comfort, desperation, and familarness. There was no other motive. Nothing else. Her heart never felt that. 

He blinked as the fire's shadows danced over her face. He watched her for a few moments as she slept, and then slowly and hesitantly, bent down and tenderly kissed her forehead. "Sleep well, San." She still clutched his shirt in her long graceful fingers. He re-adjusted the comforter to cover San and himself, and pulled her closer, breathing in her lingering smell of lavendar. He sighed deeply as the magical spell of contentment lulled him to sleep. 

~*~*~*~

A tall, pale man with slightly curly, coal colored hair and startling silver eyes crouched in a corner in his hotel room as his tortured mind painfully brought back one picture after another of a partially naked woman with panicking lavendar-blue eyes. There were bags under his eyes, and his age of thirty-five showed ever so clearly. The man stood up clumisly due to excessive drinking, and violently threw a vase at the mirror. It shattered into countless tiny pieces and the mirror cracked. He would find her even if it meant losing his sanity. He was as crazed as a frustrated hunter who longed to hunt down an elusive prey. A chilling smile adorned his face, adding to his eerie appearance.  

~*~*~*~

In a remote farm, a shooting star fell into the depths of darkness and the surrounding stars twinkeled merrily. The pale arm of a young woman glistened and her rich mass of dark colored hair covered her cheek partially, while spreading around the fluffy white pillows and bits of it on her sleeping companion's. The rythmytic breathing and heartbeats of two people could be heard as one. Both's faces had a child-like innocence and pureness that luminated them. They slept, two tired souls finding peace and comfort in the arms of one another. 

~*~*~*~

**A/N:** Ack! That sucked didn't it? I know; I am a horrible writer. Just a beginner. *hides her head in her fluffy feather pillows*  I am still not sure if it's gonna be a long fic. At first I thought this would be a one-shot, but I am not quite sure now. Perhaps it'll be two or three chapters long. Actually, it sort of depends on you guys. Give me your opinion. Do you want this to consist fic to have two chapters or three? I would very interested to know what you readers would want to do with Yuuhi. *cackles evilly* He seems like a nut doesn't he? Freaky, and crazed.

The song that Ashitaka sung for her was "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden. It fits well with San's situation, I thought. *shrugs*   

Uh well, I don't think that Ashitaka and San had last names in the movie, so I just kind of created some. Since Ashitaka came from the Emishi people, he got the last name Emisihi, and since San's wolf-mother was Moro, she got the last name Moro. Surprisingly, I found that the last names suited their names well and didn't seem awkward. ^_^

I wrote this fic in bits of spare time that I had during the past four days, so forgive me if it was really bad. But! You can always leave a review telling me what you disliked and liked, and the next time I write I'll bear that in mind. Did I mention that all that has been written was written after midnight after grueling sessions of homework and studies? 

Reviews are greatly appreciated and cherished. They are like oxygen for me, and keep me motivated to keep on writing. *hint hint*

If I don't get reviews I might even delete this story from my account. Reviews are ways that I know someone likes my story or not. If no reviews then I assume I am wasting my time and I'll just delete this piece of crap. *sighs*

-P.M

"I am not crazy, I am just a little impaired. I know, right now you don't care but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be."


End file.
